Hostage Crisis
by xXThat-Other-HobbitxX
Summary: Part one of two. Paula Jones is swiped out of her home by a mysterious hitman with even more mysterious motives: What does he want with her? Why did he attack her father? And why is he so protective of her?
1. Chapter 1

**Just a little AU thing that popped into my brain in the middle of the **_**Fargo **_**series: Obviously, I wrote this before the finale, so there are some changes (This is an AU, after all). Hope you guys like it!**

**I do not own **_**Fargo **_**or its characters: **_**Fargo **_**itself is the property of the Coen Brothers, FX Networks, and Noah Hawley. I only own Paula, her family, and anyone affiliated with them. **

Paula's breathing was now so labored and hard that she started to wonder why she hadn't passed out yet: She had just witnessed her family be shot to death, with several partygoers either killed or injured in the same incident, and now, she was huddled up in the backseat of a car driven by the maniac who shot everyone.

It was dark out, 10:00 by now, the only lights being the ones from the headlights and distant lights from the upcoming city of Fargo. She swallowed hard, trying to remain calm in this terrifying situation: Far from her comfortable home in Bemidji, she couldn't help but fret over what this man might do to her. Why didn't he just shoot her down at the party? Did he want a hostage to beat into submission and videotape for ransom? Kill her for the hell of it? _Violate her?_

She whimpered fearfully, huddling up further into a ball as the car swerved into the parking lot of a small motel, already dark and quiet. The man exited the car, stepping out into the slow-falling snow and opening up the side door, beckoning for her to exit.

Paula, as she slowly crawled out of the car, finally got a good look at her captor: He was very tall, about middle-aged, with an odd short haircut for his brown locks that matched to his rough beard. Garbed in a simple sweater, plain pants, boots, a long fleece jacket and leather gloves, his dark hazel eyes seemed to darken considerably, and the thin scar across the corner temple of his forehead made him seem twice as terrifying.

Ushering her over to the door, he unlocked it and led her inside to a small, musty motel room with two beds (One already looked somewhat slept in, so she assumed it was his), a good-sized dresser with a TV mounted on it, a small table near the window, and a pocket-sized bathroom. Near the TV was a microwave, and beneath the stand was a mini-fridge. Near one of the beds was also a good-sized closet, locked up tight.

Shuffling awkwardly into the room, Paula took a cautious seat on the neater bed, as the man walked past her and placed his gloves on the table.

"What do you want from me?" She suddenly demanded, feeling either very brave or very stupid at that very moment.

The man glanced back at her, his eyes wavering in the dimly-lit room as she stared hard at him, her heart racing and her stomach twisting.

"I want you to feel safe here," He finally replied, his voice roughly and gravelly. "I want you to know that I will not hurt you, for I have no reason to. I took pity on you, and it is now my job to protect you from anyone who does want to hurt you."

This wasn't exactly the answer she was looking for: Shaking away the awkward and unnerved feelings from the man, she then asked him, before he started walking away,

"Well, if I'm going to be staying with you, then what should I call you?" 

"…Lorne. Lorne Malvo."

**I really hope I got Lorne right…I don't know how the writer's did it, he is an extremely frustrating character to write!**


	2. Chapter 2

As Malvo left her be, Paula suddenly realized how exhausted she really was: All of the adrenaline from her panic had finally worn off, and she was ready to collapse. Glancing around nervously, she then removed her shoes and socks, placed them close to her bed, and crawled underneath the covers, burying herself beneath the blankets and shutting her eyes, praying that this was all just a terrible nightmare, and that she would wake up tomorrow morning in her bed, and everything would be just fine.

She fell asleep faster than she thought she would, and for a few hours, all she saw was black. Deep, never-ending black. However, wisps of faces passed her by, the faces of her father and aunt, and the guests at the party. It was sort of pleasant though, they were smiling to her.

The dream suddenly morphed, and she was at the party: Standing at the concession table, watching it all go on with a little hou'dourve and a drink. She smiles to her family, and her father's work friends as they all dance and mingle and chat.

Suddenly, there are shouts and screams from outside. Everyone turns to look, as a spray of blood splashes up onto one of the elegant windows. A guttural scream is silenced as the man she now knew as Malvo entered the room, carrying a large machine gun.

Within a few minutes, the ballroom is drenched in blood, bodies littering the ground, with few people still left standing. Paula remained huddled under the table, her heart pounding in her ears and hardly able to keep herself from whimpering, let alone screaming.  
Suddenly, the cover is cast off the table, sending the glassware and plates flying, and revealing the cowering teen. A gloved hand reaches down, and clutches her arm and begins to drag her out of the house. At last, she screams and cries, begging for Malvo to let her go, and she sees those still alive, just injured, try to bargain for her release, and tell Paula to be brave.

The dream fades out, and Paula awakens with a start, sitting up in the bed, shaking from the nightmare. She realizes, much to her horror, that she is still in the motel room: It's late morning now, the TV is quietly running the news, and near the door, Malvo is pulling on his boots, gloves and coat. He looks up at her, his dark eyes unnerving her all over again, as he says, "You can order whatever you want from room service. I'll be gone for a while. Don't go anywhere, and don't answer the door for anyone except for myself and room service." With that, he leaves, and the room is quiet, sparing the television.

Hopping out of the bed, Paula then glanced out of the window, watching Malvo enter the car and drive away from the motel, gone and down the highway.

Once she was sure he was gone, she immediately began hurrying around the room, looking for someway to get out: The door, somehow, was locked from the outside (Who's brilliant idea was that?), and the windows were nailed shut somehow. Did he do all of this?

Rushing to the bathroom, she found to her dismay that there was no window in there! Panicking now, Paula ran towards the window in the main room and began to bang on it repeatedly, shouting, "HEY! HELP! PLEASE HELP ME! I'M TRAPPED HERE, PLEASE HELP ME!"

Although the lights were on in the checkout area of the motel, no one came to her help. No one apparently heard her cries for help except herself. She then attempted the smash open the window, but to no avail.

Frustrated and saddened, Paula threw herself upon her bed and immediately began sobbing into her pillow, screaming and crying and cursing Malvo to hell for putting her into this mess.

After letting her anger flow, Paula got up and went to the phone to order herself some food, but just as she looked over the menu, she realized (To her own idiocy) that she could call the police! Excitement running over herself again, she put the phone to her ear, she then punched in 911, and listened.

"_I'm sorry, but this number has been disconnected from this phone. Please reconnect your phone."  
_

Quickly, Paula checked the cord, only to find it perfectly fine. The automated message still ran through the receiver as Paula, discouraged by this attempt, hung up before picking up again and trying her home phone. Same thing.

Finally ordering some food, she then realized that she could possibly escape when the room service came! Smiling at this idea, she put on her socks and shoes, and waited anxiously for the food to arrive.

There was a knock at the door, as Paula dashed to answer it. The door swung open faster than she expected, and the food, inside a plain white cardboard box, was thrust into her arms hard as the door shut again. The delivery person was gone.

Depressed once again, Paula carried her food to the table and quietly ate, the food, although warm and fairly tasty, did nothing to help her mood or situation.  
For the next few hours, Paula spent her time crying and screaming, trying to call for help, napping, watching TV (Which had the news covering the murders at the party, and her own disappearance), and planning her escape.

As night started to fall, the headlights from Malvo's car washed over the walls of the motel room. Seeing the man's terrifying silhouette outside, a primal fear came over Paula as she, in her panic, hauled to the bathroom and locked herself in, diving into the bathtub to hide. Having no weapons at her disposal, she tried to remain as quiet as possible: She knew she was temping fate by doing this, running the risk of angering Malvo, but what else could she do?

Hearing the door open, Paula held her breath as she heard the man's footsteps come towards the bathroom door. The doorknob rattled, and he asked, "Paula? Are you in there?"

She remained silent.

"You're hiding from me, aren't you?"

Silence again. She shut her eyes and tried to place herself somewhere else, but that's difficult when there's a murderer standing outside the door.  
"I already told you, I'm not going to hurt you. Whatever you think I'm going to do to you, I'm not going to. I promise to you that you have nothing to be afraid of. But I will tell you now, that if you keep hiding in there, I will kick this door to splinters."

Paula's breath hitched as Malvo added, "So I suggest you open this door pretty fast."  
Now fully afraid of the consequences, Paula cautiously unlocked the door and peered out, her eyes gazing up at Malvo, who offered her a Wal-Mart bag full of items.

"I got you some new clothes and other…feminine care products," He said, as she peered inside: A few clothes, a toothbrush and travel toothpaste, floss, a hairbrush, razors, shaving cream, deodorant, among other things. She tried to picture him standing in line with these objects, and the image was pretty funny, but she didn't dare laugh.

"Um…thank you?" She mumbled, trying to avoid making eye contact with him as he reached into the room and patted her on the head, saying, "Welcome."

**I found out a little too late that only hotels have room service: We can safely assume this is just another one of Lorne's little improvements.**


	3. Chapter 3

A shower was just what Paula needed, sighing softly as the warm water hit her skin: Her now-ruined and ruffled party dress lay out on the toilet, and the new clothes from Malvo were out on the counter by the sink. 

Using the little hotel soaps and shampoos, Paula bathed quietly, trying to wash away the ugly feelings of death, sadness, and Lorne Malvo. She still didn't understand why he kidnapped her. Unless, of course, he had some sort of underlying motive behind the whole thing. He had treated her fairly well so far, letting her eat whatever she wanted from the room service, and giving her new clothes to wear. 

But of course, he still terrified her to no end: He slaughtered almost everyone she knew, kidnapped her, and was now holding her prisoner in this motel she can't escape.

Shaking away her worries as best she could, she bathed and quickly dressed and did her teeth and brushed out her hair. She was starting to feel like herself again: Clean, warm, safe.

Well, maybe not.

Exiting the bathroom, she then crawled into her bed, sparing a quick glance to Lorne, who was currently seated on his bed, watching TV: _Saw 3 _was on, and it looked like it would be a marathon for the next few hours.

Not exactly in the mood to view more death and destruction, Paula collapsed into her pillows and blankets, hugged them tightly, and fell into an uneasy sleep.

And while Paula slept, Lorne glanced towards her, watching her drift into her dreams in silence: He was glad to have saved her from the fate that would have befallen her had he not arrived at that moment, but of course, she was afraid of him. She thought that he was going to do something horrible, something he wouldn't do to her. He then began to ponder on how he would make her feel more comfortable, without giving away their position.

He thought about this for most of the night, before falling asleep himself.

**Why would Lorne watch **_**SAW**_**? I get the feeling he could be inspired by both the physical and psychological terror brought on by it…**


	4. Chapter 4

This pattern went on for the next few days: Lorne would leave in the early hours of the morning, and Paula would spend her time alone in the motel room until he returned. She didn't know exactly what he did out there (But had a few good bets), but when he returned one night with blood-spattered boots, her theories were confirmed: Crazed murderer, hitman, assassin, something of that sort.

But much to her confusion, he did nice things for her, oddly enough: Although she feared him for all the right reasons, he'd return some nights with more new clothes for her, an MP3, and one time, a teddy bear. It confused her greatly, but for some reason, she felt attached to the bear. It brought her a sort of curious comfort she was now growing unaccustomed to.

But no matter how many nice things he could give to her, Paula vowed never to give into him: She had read about Stockholm Syndrome, and tried her best not to have that sort of fortune befall her.

It was on the third day that Lorne did not leave straight away: Usually he'd leave at 4 or 5 in the morning, but on this particular morning, he roused Paula from a sound sleep at 8:15 AM.

Immediately, upon seeing her captor looking down at her and realizing that his hands had been on her (Though just to shake her awake), she screamed out loud, threw the stuffed bear at him, and attempted to crawl away in a panic, though she got as far as the carpet, having fallen off the bed.

Lorne was unfazed by the bear being tossed at him, looping around the other side of the bed to seeing Paula, slowly picking herself up off the ground. Noticing him there, Paula slinked into the corner, shaking like a terrified animal. It didn't help that she was just wearing a t-shirt and shorts.

"Are you alright?" He asked simply, kneeling down to her as she stared at him, asking, "Why…the hell…did you have your HANDS on me?"  
"I was trying to wake you up. I'll ask again: Are you alright?"  
Swallowing back her fear, Paula replied, "I'm fine."

"Good. Now get dressed, we're going to breakfast."  
"…What?"

**Imagine getting woken up by Lorne Malvo, a guy who killed 20+ people all by himself. Have fun sleeping tonight, folks.**


	5. Chapter 5

Paula blinked lightly from within the International House of Pancakes, unable to believe that she was actually out of the motel: Sitting at a booth amidst the usual morning rush hour, the Fargo snow whipped around outside as she and Lorne sat there, him with a cup of coffee, and her with a cup of milk. They had already ordered, and were sitting in silence among the hustle and bustle of morning conversation, waiters taking orders, and screaming, hungry children.

"Look, why are you doing all of this?" Paula asked, frowning as Lorne turned back to face her, having been staring out at the falling snow outside. "Doing what?" He inquired, a sort of unnerving smirk on his face as Paula replied, "This: Giving me gifts, letting me do whatever I want in the motel, taking me to IHOP's for breakfast, why? Why did you take me from my perfectly fine life? I was happy." 

"You wouldn't be if you knew what your father wrapped up in." He answered simply, as his companion raised an eyebrow. "He was a mobster, and he was in elbow-deep in shit. A rival gave me a call, and wanted me to off him, and take you to him, probably to do God knows what to you." 

"You're a liar," Paula snarled, gripping her table knife in her hand, wishing to stab Lorne in the neck at that moment. "My father is not a mobster."

"The facts don't lie, sweetheart. I don't exactly tolerate trafficking young ladies on street corners, so I'm keeping you around. Screw them, I'm not a damn delivery boy. I have my morals. You should be grateful."  
Before Paula could reply, the waitress returned with their breakfast. Interrupted by the food, Paula shot Lorne an angry and confused glare before digging into her breakfast.

**Is there something more to Lorne's plans? Is he telling the truth? Who knows!**


	6. Chapter 6

Well, now what?" Paula growled, once they left the restaurant: The snow was falling even faster now, and heavier, creating heavy layers over the two's shoulders.

"I'm going to be leaving you with a friend of mine," Lorne replied, leading her to the car. Seeing the teen's confused and worried expression, he added, "Don't worry, he's a nice man. You'll like him." 

"Can I get a hint on who he is?" She asked, entering the vehicle, and before she knew it, they were on the roads running through Fargo. Smiling slightly, Lorne replied, "His name's Lester Nygaard, and he's an insurance salesman." 

"Insurance salesman?" Paula asked in confusion: She expected Lorne's 'friend' to be another hitman, or something of that nature. Shaking her head, she stared out the window to see that they were in a nice little suburb, with plenty of pleasant looking houses.  
Lorne pulled into the driveway of one of them, Paula following along nervously: Why exactly did he want to leave her with this Nygaard fellow? Was he finally going to set a plan in motion, and needed her out of the way? 

Lorne knocked thrice on the door, only for it to open and show an older man, much shorter than Lorne: His facial features were pleasant, with expressive light brown eyes and a button nose. Matched with short blond hair that was somewhat graying, and a knitted sweater, plain pants and work shoes, he looked much friendlier than Malvo. 

"Lorne?" The man inquired, raising an eyebrow. "What're you doing here?"  
"Hi, Lester. I've got a favor to ask of you. You have the day off, don't you?" Lorne inquired, as Lester nodded.  
"Then I was wondering if you could watch Paula for a few hours for me," The man smiled, gesturing to Paula, who smiled weakly and waved, saying shyly, "Hi." 

Lester's eyes widened. "You-You're the girl who was kidnapped! Lorne, you-"  
"I'll explain later, Lester. Just keep an eye on her for me, she won't give you any trouble." Lorne shrugged, as Lester, looking rather flustered by this 'favor', finally sighed and replied, "Okay, fine. How long will it be?" 

"Just a few hours. It'll be fine," Lorne answered, patting Paula on the head before turning tail and leaving the two.  
From that point on, Lester invited Paula inside, and was really rather polite to her. Paula liked him from the start, he had a much more comforting feeling to her than Lorne.

Looking around the quaint cozy home, it was very warm and inviting to her, much more so than the motel room she had spent the last few days in.

Until she saw the puddle on the floor.

A puddle of dark red, just in the middle of the foyer.

"Um…"  
"Oh! Ah, sorry," Lester squeaked, nudging Paula past it. "There was a bit of a mess made here, a little while ago. Please, pay it no mind." 

Paula swallowed fearfully and nodded: Was Lester, underneath the friendly exterior, just as much as a psycho as Lorne?

Not entirely: Deciding to not push the subject of the mess, Paula decided, just for the hell of it, to talk to Lester. He was very kind, friendly, and funny. They chatted, and he did his best to avoid the whole Lorne affair, and the massacre at the party. That was rather nice of him.

The time just seemed to tick away carefully, as if prolonging itself so Lorne wouldn't return as soon: Lester gave her drinks and lunch, and they were really starting to become friends. Paula was glad to have another human being to communicate with, and it seemed like Lester felt the same way.

Though she didn't quite expect their relationship to go _this _far: Curled up in Lester's lap, his arms wrapped protectively around her as they shared pleasant kisses, for reasons Paula didn't understand nor care about. She couldn't recall who kissed who first, but she was really enjoying herself.

Lester was enjoying himself as well: Nuzzling her cheek and neck playfully, he lovingly ran his fingers through her hair, smiling as he gave her another kiss, making her giggle.

"You know, Lester, when I said 'keep an eye on her', I didn't mean 'try to screw her'." The voice startled the two, Paula pulling away from Lester and turning back, only to see Lorne standing in front of the couch, glaring hotly at Lester: He was clearly unamused by their affections. And how did he get in without them even hearing him?!

"Lorne! This isn't what it looks like!" Lester squeaked, leaping away from her as Lorne just groaned and rolled his eyes. "Doesn't matter. Just don't do it again. Come on, Paula: We're going."

"But-" Paula protested lightly, wishing to stay with Lester, but Lorne didn't hear her, grabbing her wrist and beginning to drag her out of the house. Sparing a quick look to Lester, he just mouthed "Bye," before she couldn't see him anymore.

**Yeah Lester! In case you were wondering, this chapter was to satisfy the Martin Freeman fangirl inside XD He only does what Lorne asks of him because he's still terrified (And, frankly, who wouldn't be?)**


	7. Chapter 7

Inside the car, it was silent: Paula couldn't tell if Lorne was angry with her, and, frankly, didn't really want to find out. He just drives on quietly, paying attention to the road.

Suddenly, a thudding sound and what sounded like a half-muffled shout caught Paula's ear, provoking her to turn and face the back.

"Is there somebody in the trunk?!" She half-screamed: She should've expected this from Lorne, but not while she was in the damn car! 

"My latest catch," Lorne smiled darkly, as Paula gaped at him in horror. "You won't have to listen to him for long, I'll drop you off at the motel, and then I've got him to take care of. It won't take long." 

That's what he had been doing all day? Huddling up, her knees at her chin, Paula shivered in fear, listening to the man's desperate cries for help, knowing that they were completely futile.

**Sorry this chapter is so short: I wrote the whole thing on one big document, and cutting it into chapters doesn't always work :P The next one is much longer!**


	8. Chapter 8

Days later, Paula was able to get out of the motel again, this time accompanying Lorne to, of all places, Wal-Mart. Apparently, he needed some sort of drug from the pharmacy (What, and what for, Paula did not know, and didn't want to know), and was permitting Paula to find any foods she wanted that could be kept in the motel's mini-fridge and reheated in the microwave. Concealed in a hat and other heavy winter clothes, they ensured she would not be recognized by authorities.

He was currently at the pharmacy, just an aisle across from where he could see her, as she was just over at the frozen foods section, picking out chicken fingers and hot dogs to eat. She couldn't quite run away from him, seeing as he was universally right there, within eyeshot (Plus he kept on glancing back to make sure she was still there). She would have run off, just hurried out of the store and to somewhere, anywhere, anywhere far from Lorne Malvo. But this tactic probably wouldn't work well.

"Oh my God! Paula!" 

Spinning on her heels, she turned to see a familiar face, one she wasn't sure to be happy or not to see. It was Joshua Gins, the son of one of her father's business partners, and a classmate from school: He was nice, in a sort of oddball, jockey sort of way, being the captain of the football team, of course. Paula never really socialized with him outside of being partnered with him in class, given that he had a penchant for hounding her constantly to go out on a date with him. Her aunt encouraged it (However, her father did not), though she turned him down every time. He wasn't there at the party, he had a game.

"Wow, how are you?" He asked, grinning wildly as Paula blinked: Shouldn't he be worried? Asking where she had been? How she got away? Shaking her head, she replied nervously, "You…didn't hear about the…party?" 

"Nah, was it on the news? I don't watch the news, it's boring. Unless it's sports news, then it's awesome! And I don't read the newspaper either, except for the sports section. I'm here with my bros though! We're having a party ourselves, we won the championship! It was great, P, you should have been there! Hey, you should come along! We're gonna have chips and dip and beer and we're gonna watch the instant replays because Kyle recorded it, and we're gonna watch the new _Scary Movie_! Come on, it'll be a great date!" 

"Uh…" Paula mumbled, unable to speak, as Lorne noticed Josh there and began to make his way towards the two, fire burning in his pupils. He did not seem to like her interactions with the football player.

"Is this boy giving you any…trouble?" He growled, approaching them, the pharmacy bag clenched in his hand tightly. Realizing he was there, Josh turned around and scoffed, saying, "Buzz off, man, I'm scoring a date." 

Paula bit her lip, her eyes widening: He had just gone and done the dumbest thing in his whole life.

"So as I was sayin'-"

**I hope Paula doesn't seem inept to anyone: She wants to try to escape, but the fear brought on by seeing what Lorne can do prevents her from getting away. If she could, she would dash away, but she figures Lorne would catch her in no time.**


	9. Chapter 9

A few minutes later, Lorne had Josh out behind Wal-Mart, beating his face into the pavement, while Paula watched in horror from the car: Even though the doors were locked and the windows shut, she could still hear Malvo shouting at Josh as he continued to slam his face into the ground.

"**STAY! THE HELL! AWAY! FROM! PAULA!" **He screamed, letting loose a particularly nasty part of him that she never wanted to have unleashed upon herself. If Josh hadn't 'roughed her up' for fun, he wouldn't be eating cement right now.

Even though Lorne gave him at least 3 good reasons to run and a warning, Josh then proceeded to mess up Paula's hair, push her onto the ground, and say he'd like to get it on with her, thus provoking Lorne to grab him by the hair and drag him out of the store, Paula following in terror, ditching the cart. Placing Paula in the car and locking her in, Lorne then proceeded to beat the living hell out of Josh, and was now getting over his rage. Leaving his body there, the hitman then marched back to the car, entered, and began driving. Still brewing, he turned on the radio, which was just now starting to play the song _Blue Bayou _by Roy Orbison.

They listened to the radio is silence, finally reaching the motel in a matter of moments: She suddenly felt exhausted, her joints (Bruised from contact with the ground) moving slowly as trudged alongside Lorne towards the door. He unlocked it, and she nearly collapsed inside: THAT was how tired she was.

Lorne caught her swiftly, and checked her over, making sure there was nothing wrong. Sighing, he cradled her in his arms, carrying her towards the bathroom. Gently setting her down, making sure she could still sit properly, he then started up the bathwater.

Adrenaline shot through Paula's veins like wildfire, as she leapt backwards (Nearly falling off her spot on the toilet), and screamed "HELL NO! I CAN BATHE BY MYSELF!"

"You're exhausted, Paula. I understand that. I won't do anything to hurt you, and I'll try not to make you uncomfortable."

"_Yeah, good luck with that," _She rolled her eyes, as Lorne held his hands out, saying, "It's okay, Paula. You just need a bath and a little time to relax."

The fight finally left her, too tired and unhappy to argue anymore. Cautiously, and trying to avoid his looks, she undressed and climbed into the bathtub, letting the water wash over her warmly.

Lorne removed his jacket and rolled up the sleeves of his sweater, and very gently, began to bathe Paula. He washed her hair, scrubbed her, and did his best not to freak her out. Her eyes were drooping already, being very sleepy from the long day. Helping her up once he washed away all of the excess soap, he drained the water, dried her off, and helped her dress into her pajamas. She yawned sleepily, nudging him away to brush her teeth, before finally exiting the bathroom and collapsing into her bed, asleep in an instant.

Her scrapes and marks from Josh were fading, and that made Lorne feel better. He then tucked her in a little better, and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. Sighing, tired as well, he settled onto his bed, and relaxed as he fell to sleep as well.

**Lorne feels obliged to protect Paula: While she believes him to be the enemy here, he doesn't trust the person who asked him to bring her to them, and would prefer to know the true motives of this mystery person.**

**This is all for now: Hopefully, I will have the second half (Which is going to be called **_**Paula's Plight**_**) out before the summer ends. Hope you guys enjoyed it, thank you, God bless ya.**

**-That-Other-Hobbit**


End file.
